An Unexpected Gift

The door slammed and I was locked inside the small hospital room. The radioactive iodine capsule I had just swallowed as part of my cancer treatment made me a health risk to others, so my television, hard bed and cold vinyl armchair were my only companions for the next five days. The hospital staff literally threw my meals at me and hastily retreated. I wasn’t sure if I should laugh or cry.
Next to my bed were photographs of my two boys - Daniel aged nineteen months, and Cameron aged six months - staring at me with their trusting and innocent eyes. How I longed for the touch of their warm soft skin against mine, their chubby cheeks and their cheeky smiles.  Leaving them for a week had broken a bond so strong that I was left with a gaping inner wound, bleeding and raw. They would wonder where Mummy had gone. How can you explain cancer to a baby and a toddler?
A thoughtful friend had lent me some worship music and the second day I paced around the little room, allowing the uplifting notes of the music to sink deep into my aching spirit and lift my heart with its gentle fingers.  Outside my window I could see Botany Bay in the distance, the glistening light dancing on the still blue water. An expansive blue sky stretched high above the dull brown hospital buildings and I imagined breathing fresh air into my shrunken lungs.
Shout to the Lord rang out in my ear piece and hot tears sprang to my eyes. Such a beautiful melody and words which caused fire to rise in my blood as it pumped through my body. I held my hands high, abandoning myself to the music, safe in the knowledge that nobody was likely to disturb me. One line in particular resonated with my spirit: “Nothing compares to the promise I have in you.”  At that moment I reflected on God’s love for me and His plan for my life; and from that moment on I knew that God would get me through this difficult time.  God was stronger than cancer and His plans for me would come to pass.
As the tears continued to pour from my eyes, I began to feel a wave of empathy and concern for the minister of my church. I had been consumed by my own worries for months and was unaware of what was happening in the church. The minister had been kind, praying with me before I came to the hospital and then visiting my family.  I began to pray for him as a wave of emotion swept me away and carried me to an unfamiliar place.  A groan rose from my throat and I began praying from a deep place in my being, the tears intensified and I sobbed and held this man up before God, begging for his protection and guidance. 
This went on for some time, but then, as suddenly as it had begun, the need to pray vanished. I was left emotionless, with a feeling of lightness, and I climbed onto my bed and fell asleep.  Afterwards I wondered if the cancer treatment had affected me adversely and had caused this odd, deeply moving experience.
A week later I returned to church, still feeling weak but keen to get on with living. One of the elders stepped up to the pulpit to announce that the minister would not be preaching that morning, and had in fact taken stress leave. He mentioned an incident from the past week when somebody had attempted to blow up his car. I gasped as I heard this disturbing news and my experience in the hospital came flooding back. I was stunned to realize that the prayer had been real, and I had for the first time been called to intercede for a fellow Christian in danger. I was very concerned about the minister, of course, but I was also amazed that God had chosen a woman in a position of extreme weakness and sorrow to embark on such intense spiritual warfare.
I am now seven years cancer free. I am so thankful to God for my healing, and for the unexpected gift He bestowed on me during that difficult week in the hospital room.
I continue to intercede for others who are suffering.  Mostly I am clueless about their circumstances until after the event, and each time I am in awe of God who trusts an ordinary flawed woman to share with Him in prayer in such an intimate way.  Intercessory prayer is an honor and a privilege and a constant reminder to me of the reality, power and immense love of our beautiful Lord.