What Does Love Say?

Joe and Sally had their first big fight of their two year old marriage. Tensions had been mounting over the budget since both of their hours had been cut back at their jobs. They had said some harsh words to each other, and now there was a deep divide of hurt between them.

They agreed to go to their church and talk to Pastor Mark about their troubles. In their discussion about how to resolve their issues, Pastor Mark had many thoughts about how to proceed.

In his mind, he thought this was not a matter of who was right and who was wrong. Rather, it was the difference between what is right and what is love. Sally and Joe may be right about what they each want to do with the budget. There are probably no easy solutions to this difficult time, but Pastor Mark knew that they had great love for each other and also knew that going deeper into their love was the only way to move forward in their marriage.

Pastor Mark thought about effective conflict resolution techniques and methods. Taking steps to end differences and reach an agreement, all can move forward toward reconciliation. Being stuck in tension is not good for anyone. But he knew that before finding any solution, it is essential to ask the question, “What does love say?”

Pastor Mark asked them to read and pray through 1 Corinthians 13 where St Paul talks about love and how it is so essential to all that we do. “As you read the chapter,” Pastor Mark instructed, “keep asking questions about the verses. Pray those questions and see how God answers your questions about love.”

“For instance, St. Paul says he knows he is not anything more than a loud noise without love. Nothing is worse than a person who is just a chatter box. We might ask: ‘How are we talking a lot without really saying anything?’”

“Then, St. Paul goes on to say that he could have knowledge and power that knows all mysteries and can move mountains, but all that without love does not do anything that makes a difference. The apostle says he could sacrifice himself by burning at the stake, but again without love that would accomplish nothing. Here we might ask: ‘What are we doing that is right, such as being considerate of one another, yet we are not sharing with love?’”

Sally and Joe went home and read through the rest of the chapter. They found that St Paul gives a thorough definition of love. He talks about how love is patient, true, and kind, how it does not envy, boast, or keep record of wrongs, and is not proud, angered, or selfish, but the one word that really kicks an ego with a hard punch is the word “always.”

They started to see that there are no exceptions to love. We are to connect to everyone in love; so in love we are always to protect, hope, and persevere. No matter the situation or the people who are in our relationships, we are always to love.

In the definition alone, Joe and Sally came up with many questions to put into their prayers. These questions really hit them at their core. How have I let my selfish-pride hurt love? What wrongs do I hold in my heart and let them make me become bitter? Why do I let my ego say to me that I am the one who is always right? Where am I not seeing my lack of patience? Am I finding the strength to keep moving forward or am I just wanting to call it quits?

After two weeks of reading and praying through their questions about love, they went back to visit with Pastor Mark. They said that the questions were tough, but they found that they got to the heart of the matter of their marriage. Their problem was not so much about a tight budget as it was about love. When they focused on their questions about love, their problems were working out.

Sally said, “I have to admit that I was angry at Joe for buying a new fishing pole on our tight budget, but the other day I was really tempted to buy a new pair of cute shoes. I went home and told Joe, and he said that we can adjust some things in our budget, so I can get the shoes.”

“God seems to be giving us situations where we can work out the answers to our questions,” Joe replied.

Pastor Mark said, “It is not that we will never have conflict in our relationships. At times, we will have our disagreements, but these tensions are mostly a test of love. Often, there is no single way to solve a problem as there is not one right way to solve any circumstance. We do have God’s wisdom to guide us in life, and as we walk according to His ways, He will give us the direction to go in life.”

“When we have suffered loss, are in conflict, or experiencing hard times, all is right because God is in his heaven, Jesus has come down from the cross and walked out of the tomb, and the Spirit is in our hearts guiding us in the ways of love.”

Joe and Sally talked about how they are reading Scripture and praying now with questions in mind. When we ask the right questions, God comes to us with answers.

Pastor Mark concluded, “And for the most part the question is: ‘What does love say?’”