Praying in the Dark

“If thou shouldst never see my face again, pray for my soul. More things are wrought by prayer than this world dreams of.” –Lord Alfred Tennyson

An earthquake hits Japan, followed by a tsunami. We watch our television screens in horror as lives and cities are torn apart. A similar picture unfolds in New Zealand, as Christchurch falls to another earthquake. I sit in church as we join to pray for those suffering from these natural disasters. We sit in reverent silence, a few of us with damp cheeks, reflecting. We pray and look for answers. But do our prayers really make a difference?

Recently I read that when the late Cardinal Basil Hume, a leader of the Catholic Church in England and Wales, was asked towards the end of his devout life about his understanding of prayer, he replied:

“Oh, I just keep plugging away. At its best it’s like being in a dark room with someone you love. You can’t see them, but you know they’re there.”

I sense the spirituality of this man, who reached out for the comforting presence of God as he would a trusted friend. I suspect that he kept plugging away not only to find answers to his prayers, but to connect and spend time with this comforting presence.

Another quote I recently stumbled upon was by Sister Julie who says prayer is like “putting on a pair of glasses.” Problems may appear insurmountable, life insecure, and relationships shaky; but when we lift our eyes from the torment within, and instead look upward in prayer, our perspective changes. What was a confused blur gains clarity and substance. Sister Julie tells us that prayer allows us to see with new eyes, as if appreciating a painting. Standing back from the vivid colours and swirls, with the “spiritual glasses” in place, we begin to see the beautiful landscape take shape.

My life is busy – I work, I’m a wife and mum, and I have many friends and interests. I’m not mystical or religious by any stretch of the imagination, but prayer plays a major role in my life. My conversations with God bring light and focus to the painful and confusing parts of my life. I also love to pray for others, to care for them when, in human terms, I feel powerless to help.

Once I prayed for a friend who was having routine surgery. I was a passenger in a car with my family at the time, and felt a sudden prompting to pray. As I began to pray silently a wave of heaviness overwhelmed me, and I felt a strong pressure on my chest. I could hardly hold up my head and it was difficult to breathe. I continued praying for my friend, and after a few moments the pressure lifted and I finished my prayer. A couple of hours later I had a call from my friend’s wife to say her husband had reacted badly to the anaesthetic and his heart had slowed down during the surgery, but after a few frightening moments the doctor had managed to bring him through the surgery unscathed. I realized this scary moment in the surgery had happened at the precise time I experienced the unusual physical symptoms while praying.

Prayer is mysterious, out of the ordinary, and yet accessible to all of us, no matter how down to earth, flawed, and human we may be. I have no doubt that prayer works, although the outcome is not always to our liking. I see it as the outpouring of God’s love and wisdom on mankind and our feeble human response which lifts us into the spiritual realms. Occasionally we catch a glimpse of the bigger picture. There is a verse in the Bible which likens what we see in this life to gazing into a reflection in a mirror, which is at times hazy and distorted. There is also the promise that one day we will see “face to face.” (1 Corinthians 13:12) One day we will see clearly. I don’t fully understand the mystery of prayer, but I’ve tasted its power, love, and energy, and I will keep plugging away.

If times are tough for you, if your heart is breaking, or if you are disappointed with this world, take some time to be still and pray. Even if you doubt God’s goodness, call to Him. If your heart goes out to those who are suffering, take some time to pray for them. Search for the comforting presence in the dark room – invisible, but oh so real. Say whatever is on your heart and sit silently to listen. The voice of God is often heard as a still, small whisper. Just listen.

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